Women in the workplace: ‘Please take me seriously’
With all the advancements, particularly for women, why is it that we are still held back by our own unconscious biases and gender stereotypes?
As featured in Arabian Business: https://www.arabianbusiness.com/spotlight/women-in-the-workplace-please-take-me-seriously
It is the end of a demanding work week and, to my delight, I have been invited to dinner with new friends. I am now six weeks into opening Atteline’s second office outside of Dubai and it is fraught with all the classic challenges one might imagine.
I re-confirm tomorrow’s zoom meetings, check in with team directors, and ensure all pressing matters have been addressed with our office managers. I send off my last emails and tidy up my to-do list. Much to my delight and boundless gratitude, as I step out of the office I see that our wonderful nanny, without whom I couldn’t possibly manage the delicate balance of work and home life, has the children fed, bathed and ready for evening story times and bedtime cuddles. I relish our daily routines together, surrendering to every moment of quality time that we get to enjoy as a family.
Once the children have drifted off to sleep and my husband has retreated to the peace of the lounge, I run a comb through my hair, pat on some blush and make a dash for the taxi. As we pass through the unfamiliar kaleidoscope of urban lights, my mind flicks between client strategy, the children’s vaccinations and how delighted I am to be joining my newest female acquaintances for dinner and a debrief on ex-pat life. The four of us exchanged pleasantries and settle into a drink, before the conversation drifts from one person to the next, meandering between where to find the best healthy food grocers and effective teething hacks, to which schools host the most accomplished teachers and what our better halves do.
I enjoy the conversational journey, not merely for its useful insights, but for the way it helps to slowly reveal the unique personalities and idiosyncrasies of my chatty dinner companions or, dare I say it, new friends. Once the evening becomes an unspoken wrap, we take care of the bill, throw our enthusiasm behind the motion of coordinating a follow-up soiree, and part ways feeling satisfied. Yet as I relax into the rear seat of my ride home, I toy with the possibility that “satisfied” might not be an accurate way to describe my return journey sentiment.
Reflecting on the evening’s agenda, it dawns on me that outside of discussing my 10 month old’s unprecedented strength and the chaos of finding a base for our tenure in South East Asia, not at any point did we dig a little deeper into who we are as “individual women”. I let out an audible sigh, disappointed in myself mostly for not digging deeper or indeed at all. However, now that I thought about it, this has been a recurring theme as I have so happily become a mother of two and entered into my mid-thirties.
I was left to ponder on the possibility of a collective assumption that we were all living in the shadows of our partners’ amazing careers (and yet we are not!), and that to have exciting ones of our own was not a particularly feasible prospect. Could we really be looked upon as “trailing spouses”, supposedly unable to keep our own careers in simultaneous acceleration? I found it difficult to bat away the taunting thoughts, hoping that if someone truly believed our realities could be otherwise, then surely more people would pose the question? But I have realized I am hardly asked these days – and nor do I ask enough – “What do you do?”
This got me thinking, why is it that by our mid-30s or after having children, women become labelled? Why is it we have to shout louder to be heard? Why is it that acquaintances in our fellow age group are not yet making an even more conscious decision to dig deep, and find out more about one another? With all the advancements, particularly for women, why is it that we are still held back by our own unconscious biases and gender stereotypes? Thinking back to that dinner party, I don’t believe it came down to a lack of interest, it truly came down to gender-based assumptions. Had I asked the question, I would have stumbled into a fascinating discussion on remote-working, part-time opportunities, breadwinning wives, and an incredible array of hobbies and interests.
Why in today’s world must women not be asked, “What do you do?” and be only associated with their family unit? At the end of the day, I see the very purpose of forging connections with new peers and nurturing friendships, is to cultivate a supportive forum within which we can share our stories, our fears, our passions and our dreams. We should not be held back by stereotypes or wanting to fit in and we should definitely not need to be asked to share.
Today, every part of me is geared towards the championing of women both in business and in the home. I take my hat off to the stay at home mum (quite possibly the most difficult job in the world), to the women who are risking it all to give their dreams a chance, to those who have had to forfeit their careers in the face of supporting their family (with or without children), and to the ones who have thrown all their resources at achieving as close to a work-life balance as is circumstantially possible. All I propose is that, as peers, we challenge ourselves to truly see each other, lead with curiosity by leaving our assumptions at the door, and open up the chance to celebrate the unique, arduous and fascinating journeys of each and every one of us, men and women alike. Because that, in my opinion, is the essence of life.
Written by: Sophie Simpson, MD & Founder of Atteline